Day 24: Something you’ve learned

This may come as a surprise, once again, but I have learned a lot. I mean, I have been alive for 27 years and some odd months. Things just kind of happen, and I experience them. Some things I have learned at school, some at home, some at church, and some at the zoo.

So yes, you could say I have learned something. I may take the chance to explain to you one something I have learned.

I learned how to make a roll-up ice cream cake. Carrie Egli and I took on the adventure of making this beauteous cake for Mark Egli's birthday.

It looks gross bc of powdered sugar...not dried crusties.

We couldn't get all the candles lit at once, either.

I've also learned it's not acceptable to strangle my child. Remember...use Cake Flour, not all purpose flour. Otherwise, you'll look like a complete idiot in front of all your friends. No one will want to talk to you. Children will flee, screaming in horror. God, himself, will be left to deal with your ungodly life choices!

Day 23: Favorite books

One thing you may recall I that I love reading. Ever since I was a wee little brat, I have found escape and relaxation in the wonderment that is reading. Is it because I have an imagination this size of a pluralized universe? Maybe it's because I was hit with a book whilst in the womb, and this is how I get my ghastly revenge. I don't know.

All I know is that I read all the time before we got video game systems. Then, I read some of the time.

Oh sisters, I revel in the memories of the R.L. Stine Goosebumps series. The Boxcar Children were out boxed and out carred in my imagination. Even The Babysitter's Club was clubbed by my triumphant reading skills.

But then I stumbled upon Redwall. A fictional world where animals can talk, wear clothes, and wield weapons to protect the Redwall Abbey. My friend, Jean, and I would scamper through the prairie behind her father's house, swinging sticks wildly about as we pretended to be Martin the Warrior and such other legendary heroes. This world of fantasy was quite the escape I needed in a time where all the voices around me condemned me and hated me for something I had no control over. In this terrible world, these teenagers decided I was gay and that it was wrong to be gay. But in the walls of Redwall Abbey, I was a valiant hare, adorned in a blue vest, who also had a knack for lute playing. Was this mighty beast labeled with such belittling terms? No. He was adorned with praise.

A few years later, I became bewitched, if you will, by a rising series...Harry Potter. I don't need to explain how quickly I fell into this splendor of witchcraft. However, the blasted writer was taking her sweet @$$ time writing, so I filled in the dry spells with X-MEN novels. The supernatural always makes it better.

Spoiler Alert!

I had to stop reading Harry Potter books because I realized I was getting way too involve in said series. After the great match between three schools, Harry and Cedric touch the "finish line" at the same time. Without any warning, Cedric Diggory is killed. Just like that! This sweet leader of the Gryffindor pack is plucked from the pages of the book! Even though I am wholeheartedly Slytherin, I cried, "Why not Malfoy!?" I bawled in agony for what seemed like eons, but was realistically 30-45 minutes. I could not sleep. Tears would not cease. My mind raced. Would he reappear later like how Yoda makes a final appearance as a ghostly spirit in the end of Star Wars? Who else would this wench of a writer kill off!? And that's when I stopped reading Harry Potter.

I will watch the movies, and at some point, I may pick up a Harry Potter book again. But until that day, I'll read Twilight and other mythic phenomenon with a grain of salt. Literally, I will hold a grain of salt between my thumb and forefinger.

Favorite Book: Jane Eyre?

Day 22: What’s in your purse?

I know many of you have been waiting patiently for this particular post. What exactly IS in my purse? Well, as Merriam-Webster tells us, a purse is: a sum of money offered as a prize or present; also : the total amount of money offered in prizes for a given event.

That's why my purse is full of goodies. You thought I was gonna talk about my woman-lady bag. You looked like an idiot. I bet you felt stupid. I'm glad I'm not you, in this moment. Other moments, I might like being you. Like if you won the lottery. I'd like that...until all those jerks came out of the woodwork, as they say, and started asking you for money for their bills and poor money management problems.

Well, my purse is this:

A golden toilet!

How do you win this purse? You'll probably never know...Not even Angie has a chance.

Day 21: Favorite picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

If you know me, you know I like myself. Sometimes, I'll stare at myself in the mirror for hours on end, just wondering how I look so good. Some people have to buy special makeups or extensive surgeries. I just have a crooked nose and was born beautiful, I hear.

Of course, I can't just show you the ONE picture that is my favorite of all time. I have to have a countdown with those who are runners ups.

We start with the Costumes:

Moses and Rocky 

Superman with his Hero Squad

Pharaoh with a slew

Dwight, leading worship for class

Corky St Clair with a hippie

Tobias Funke in Pirate attire

Michael Jackson with Fred Flintstone

  Then, Non-Costumes:

Alexis and I, singing at Gabe and Aubrey's wedding.

Dancing at Chad and Carolyn's Christmas Party

The Family Shot

Posing with Don Follis

Apologizing for saying her name instead of Aubrey's in the toast.

My Senior photo. I'm 17, not 12.

The Winner:

Zach and I just look like little studs. I'm on the left.

Day 20: Nicknames

In my short-lived history, you might have discovered that I'm a millionaire. Only when you consider nicknames to be currency. That's right. I said it.

One of my most famous nicknames is Adam "the Hawk" Morrison.

A Face

Tree Hugger

Oversized Shirt Wearer

Mr F.

Student of the Year

Oversized Shirt of Aliens Wearer

Special

Melancholy Photobomber

Head Squisher

Angie's Personal Professional Model

Slytherin

While this list does not contain all of my nicknames...you can see that I've had my fair share. My fare share, if you will. Won't you?

Day 19: Something you miss

Who knew the first person who isn't family that I'd miss would be Angie? In fact, she was the first person I called. And y'all know, I don't like calling people. We've been friends for so long, it's hard to do life without that sorta folk.

Of course, I miss others like Jim Wood, Hannah Burtness, Gabe and Aubrey, Jonathan Rasch, Tyler Alblinger, Jenna Hoerr, Adam and Alecia, and many more. If I didn't list you, it's cuz I'm trying to blog in a rush because I'm pooping at Lamar and Tanya's new home!

Day 18: Favorite place to eat

Now, you probably have a list a mile long of favorite places to eat a foot long sandwich or other measurements, but I cannot align with you on this one. While I do enjoy an Americanized Chinese now and then or an Olive Gardenian photo op, I can't say such places are my favorite. I've been to one particular home, the Johnsons' for holiday dinners more times than I care not to admit! I've been really confused on how to eat tacos and things, thanks to Taco Bell. And probably the place I've frequented the most for meals is The Vineyard Church in Urbana, since I worked there for years!


However, I'd have to say the most exotic place I've ever eaten is Florida with the family. The food wasn't all that exotic, but Florida is. The most painful place I've ever had food thrown into my face was by the Prayer House at The Vineyard Church, while filming a Napoleon Dynamite style ad. Angie's family also knows how to serve a meal. I also pose well at bars as the third wheel. And the most awkward dinner may have been when I made a toast to Gabe and Aubrey and called Aubrey "Angie." And then of course, my parents' house, where dad will chop you in half or I'll stare at chipmunk cheek Barbie.


Be glad I only linked to this many pictures. I had a plan to link to every picture on Facebook of me eating, but then I realized there are over 2000 pics of me, and I eat a lot.


After much delay, my favorite place to eat is Monical's Pizza. Take a look at the history book.

Since my birthday is in December, I never had pool parties or such fancy things for my birthday parties. I always had Monical's Pizza (formerly Pizza Man). I'm wearing the USA sweatshirt. One of my best friends from youth, Jennifer White, is sporting the permed doo.

Another year, another birthday party. This was in 3rd grade. AJ (Bachman) Lavender is showing off the side ponytail. Jennifer Johnson is all grins because she knows we're about to eat Monical's Pizza!

I loved Monical's Pizza so much that when I got old enough, I worked there. I started working there on April 11, 2001. I remember the date because it was 4/11, which was the number to dial for help like when you've fallen and can't get up or when you've wet yourself in public and don't want others to know...

Here I am, coming in on my day off, pretending to be a lobster with my red lights hair and salad tongs.

Best friend, Mary Stege, and I came in and got this man to take our picture with our coworkers. The man agreed as long as his buddy could be in the pic. That's why the man in the black sweater is also in the pic. Cassie (Maulding) Gustafson is wielding the mighty pizza cutter!

Here, I once again am trying to get into the pizza oven.

I hope you all know that I love Monical's Pizza. If you ever think, I'll take Adam out to eat...think Monical's.

Day 17: Something you’re looking forward to

As some of you may know, I moved to Peoria to in January to help start a new church. That church won't get running until the pastor and the rest of the team move up here. One exciting step in this process is coming up this weekend. Lamar and Tanya are moving to Morton, IL!

Of course, I'm happy to see Lamar and Tanya, but more importantly, I'm excited to see their son, Peyton. We went to Chuckie Cheese for his fifth birthday. I was his special guest.

Last week, I heard from some folks that Peyton was getting nervous about moving up here. He'd be leaving all his friends and extended family. He'd be in a new school with new kids who don't know him yet... So I wrote him a letter. I don't have an exact copy of the letter, but here is my best effort:

Dear Peyton,

I am super excited. Do you know why? It's because you will be moving near me soon! Just think of it! No longer will we be an hour and a half away! We'll only be fifteen minutes away from each other. That means, we can visit each other and play Wii all the time! 

I bet you're probably a little nervous about moving to Morton. But remember, you're a pretty cool kid. You're really smart. You're a total stud. And You're really great at baseball! The kids in your new class will totally think you're pretty cool.

I also heard there's another kid who looks just like you and that he is also named Peyton. I bet you'll be great friends. 

Peace,

Adam

As I said, I don't remember if that's the exact letter, but he was pretty ecstatic to see that he had received mail AND that it was a letter from me. Tanya said he wanted to hang it on his closet door, but he must wait until he gets into his new house to hang my dramatic letter.

I also included a drawing I made for Lauren, Peyton's younger sister. She really liked it, too, but when Angie (the same Angie I've referenced in countless posts, also Tanya's sister) and I were talking over the phone, Lauren said she didn't like me. I heard it. I wasn't supposed to hear it. ;)

Day 16: Dream house

Let me tell you a bit about my dream house. Ideally, it would be an old ranch-style house that has been modernized to look sleek and sexy. It would also be on a ranch with lots of land space for a horse or two.

What I like best about this picture, above, is the mail box. You'll notice the red flag is up, saying, "Hey, I got some mail here for ya!"

Nothing says, "You've made it big!" quite like a waterfall pool. 'Nough said.

For all the jamborees and sleep over parties, this room has plenty of space to push aside the couches for some air mattress displays. 

This kitchen/dining room area is sweet looking. I'm sure you know I'll be eating off the floor in there. 

What the heck is this? I don't know, but it looks freaking sweet.

The bath tub is also set up in a similar arrangement. Everyone loves a floating tub.

You can always enjoy a look out the window. But hopefully, my house will be located in the country, so I won't be looking into some fool's garage. 

We didn't get a chance to look at the master bedroom, nor the twins' bedroom, but you get the picture. Sexified.

Don't worry. You'd totally be invited to come out to my ranch-style house on a ranch...as long as you can get past the dreaded Jamnoramnakahns!

Day 15: Bible verse

Friends, it may surprise you that my name is in this holy book we call "the Bible." That's right. Adam, the first man created in the known universe. Was he just a ball of fire? No. That's stupid. Why would you think that?! Did Angie put you up to that? She's tweaky like that.

The Bible is full of good times city. Some people say, "This is my favorite verse." Others say, "My favorite verse is always changing because God's spirit is always moving through the pages of his most holy scripture." I say, "Get off your holy roller skates and just be a real person.

I don't exactly have ONE favorite Bible verse. You may be surprised by that. I'm not. Let me tell you a few of them:

Genesis 2:25
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

I care for this verse because it is prophetic. That's right. One day, I shall be married. We'll be naked and love it.

Genesis 4:25
Adam made love to his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth, saying, “God has granted me another child in place of Abel, since Cain killed him.”

This is also prophetic. Yes, ma'am. We shall be making love. It's too bad for our first couple of children, though. I wish we would have been better parents.

Genesis 5:5
Altogether, Adam lived a total of 930 years, and then he died.

Michael Jackson was all about living forever and never dying. He was foolish to think that could happen. I strive for a much more realistic goal of 930 years. Then, I will be out like a fat kid in dodgeball.

Day 14: A picture of you last year – how have you changed?

Two weeks into this crazy shenanigans, and I don't know what to make of it. Some people tell me I should not make of it anything...other people tell me not to make out. I don't know where they come up with these statistics, but they know.

This photo was taken by me a year and two days ago. We were Band-Aid! Which is the most hippin-est hoppin-est band ever, doing covers of Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Bros for The Vineyard Church, Urbana's Daddy Daughter Date Night.

I don't think any of the girls could hear me singing the Jonas Bros' songs because they were screaming them louder than the whole band. It was a real special night, I hear.

Soon after, my coworkers and I had a blast of an afternoon...probably going to McDonald's for ice cream.

I've changed. The band broke up, shortly after. I also quit my job, since then. I also don't eat McDonald's ice cream much.

Day 13: Goals

I have a few goals I'd like to share with you tonight. There are a couple of categories that said goals shall fall into. Let's take a look. A book look.

Life Goals

1. I strive to be a man on integrity. I want to keep my word and exhibit honor and respect in my life.
2. I want to put people first. I never want to put a task or an object before my friends and family.
3. I want to have a son, named Charles Nelson Morrison, who makes odd noises and twiddles his glasses betwixt his thumb and forefinger. 

Week (Weak) Goals

1. I want to follow through on a commitment I have made to myself. You may hear of it in later blogs. At this point, it's a personal goal that is only for personnel. 
2. I am going to make it to work early every day this week and be entertaining to my guests and coworkers. 
3. I am going to poop at least once a day. 

Well, it looks like Angie Kauffman won't be getting an award for appearing in my blog the most, but she will be getting a good ol' hand slap we call "high five" when I see her next. That reminds me...

Angie Goals

1. Give Angie a high five.

Day 12: Something you don’t leave the house without

There aren't a whole lot of things I leave the house without. If you know me, you know I like to travel. There's a reason I like to travel. It's because I get to take my favorite thing in the world. Is it Angie? "Ha," I say. Not quite.

That's right. It's my body. Y'all can't deny it. It's no Michael Scott, but it's worth looking at from a distance.

Day 11: Favorite tv shows

Have you ever sat back and taken it all in? I can only hope you have. I am a lover of comedy. Does it have to be superb comedy? No, sir. It simply has to make me chuckle to myself quietly (CTMQ). You can probably tell this by my favorite movies. If you haven't read that post, you're not a total douche.

Yes, I like TV shows. I will tell you straight up, my favorite shows are Animation Domination on Fox, but out of all of them, only one can walk away from me, carrying a cake!

American Dad pretty much takes the cake. If I didn't care for morals and just let myself go, I'd become Roger the Alien. People would laugh with me for a while, and then, they'd kick me to the curb cuz I'm a total jerk. The surprise company of the rest of the cast just adds to this cup of tea, turning it into a Shamrock Shake!

If American Dad doesn't suit your fancy, you need to find a new tailor. I'll tell you who's fancy it doesn't suit...and that's how Angie made it in four posts in a row. Because she just doesn't get into my fanciful shows of animated debauchery.

Also, I hope you enjoyed the fact that I learned how to make my links open in new windows, so you wouldn't get stabbed in the face every time you have to click on them.

I'd also like to take the time to thank my viewers from all over the places! Take a look at them:

1. One viewer from Changwon, South Korea! You are truly my favorite. 
2. Coming in second is my viewer from Bucharest, Romania. To you, I say, "sarut mana!"
3. Look out for Mazatlan, Mexico! Ellen Benefield is taking over my views!
4. There are also a number of folks from the good ol' US and A:
1. Someone from Lenexa, Kansas.
2. A friend from Watertown, Massachusetts. 
3. Don't forget about my acquaintances in Brunswick and Akron, Ohio!
4. Then there are some fools in Cambridge and Circle Pines, Minnesotas!
5. Watch out for the fastly growing population in New York City and Syracuse, New York.
6. Indianapolis and Valparaiso, Indiana have a chance.
7. California represents with views from San Francisco, Chula Vista, Alhambra, and Santa Monica.
8. Missouri is sweeping the competition thanks to O'Fallon. St Peters and Kansas City are helping.
9. But as it should be, Champaign, Illinois is destroying the ambivalence. Followed by Chicago, Peoria, Decatur, Sullivan, Charleston, Washington, Rantoul, Mahomet, and Mattoon. 

If you are representing one of these areas, feel free to leave a comment! Especially if you're not Ellen from Mexico or from Champaign, IL.

Day 10: Something you’re afraid of

While Hope Floats is celebrating being in two consecutive posts of mine, she will not make it a third in a row...dang...never mind. She just outsmarted me for the third. However, she is the not the subject of "Something you're afraid of" because I could take her in a bar fight. Not in a wrestling match, though. Obviously, she would have her manager "Fabulous" Pamela distract the referee and me with her "fabulous" dance moves, and Angie would hit me with the brass knuckles. I'd be down and out for the ol' 1-2-3.

What am I afraid of? You may be thinking to yourself, "Adam the American, bird ain't afraid of nothing," but that is not true. While I am freakin' Slytherin, due to my ambitious nature and desire to be famous, I have long had a slight fear of snakes. To drum this back up in my memory, I have had two, count them, TWO nightmares of snakes.

1. I was in my parents' house again, as a teenager. There was a wicker ottoman in my bedroom. What was inside this wicker ottoman? A rattlesnake. I tried to have the ottoman chest stuck shut, by jamming it against the doorway, but the freaking snake got out. It followed me down the stairs, and I had to go outside to get away. It then went back in the house. I hoped I could lure it outside the home away from the family. That dirty snake tricked me!
2. I was in my room in my parents' house, again. My dog Buoy was there with me. I don't know how, but a snake got onto my bed. Buoy was trying to protect me from it. There was all sorts of tussle with the comforter, trying to get the snake trapped in it. I think the snake bit Buoy. I freaked out because I thought Buoy had blood all over him, but we had spilt Kool-Aid on him in the tussle. 

As I was expressing my distaste for snakes with Carrie, I reminded myself of my horrible snake experiences as a child. My best friend at the time, Jennifer (Farrington) Eisenmann, and I were walking around the neighborhood, delivering flowers for May Day. As we turned down Railroad Avenue, we were having careless chatter about this or that, and all of a sudden, we felt something hit our shoulders! We jumped and screamed a bit, turning around to find a snake on the ground with holes in it! We ran away quite fast. My father told me it was probably trying to get in a bird's nest, and the bird pecked the crap out of it. 

Weeks later, if not months, I was riding my bike to Pells Park. Guess what! A freaking snake fell from a tree and hit my bike. It, too, had holes in it from a fight with a bird. And that's how I tie my whole blog together. From fighting Angie to a snake getting destroyed by a bird. 

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

It's hard to narrow down who EXACTLY is my best friend...for many reasons:

1. I'm pretty popular.
2. I'm not lonely.
3. I tend to like most people.
4. If I don't like someone, they aren't my best friend.
5. I'm quite focused on who is currently around me.
6. I often friendship in packs of four.
7. I'm in Slytherin.

But even with all this working for/against me, I am going to take you on a tour of my friendship. As stated in #6, above, I often friendship in packs of four. Just take a look at the incredible fours:

The first of the fours took place in 2004 with the first friends I made at The Vineyard Church. 

That's right. You look up and only see three people who are supposed to be in the picture, Carrie (Townsend) Egli, Mark Egli, and Adam Morrison. That's because Michelle (Uphoff) Koehler was not ever in any photograph with the rest of us when we hung out. You see, back in 2004, we didn't care so much for digital cameras and making sure other people knew we were a group of friends. Then Michelle went away to ISU, and the rest of us went on without her.

The second set of fours took place a times later from The Vineyard Church, as well.

This group of friends has plenty of pictures together because we toured Florida as a rag-tag singing quartet. We didn't really sing, but we did go to Florida, as you might be able to tell from the previous entry. Emily (Hoerr) Pool, Adam Morrison, Leann (Earp) Knight, and Robert Daniel Goulet. We stayed up late, having serious talks about Jesus and healing. God did some pretty cool things, cuz he's just pretty cool. 

Who is next? I'll tell you. 

The wildest pack of geese you've ever seen! Angie Kauffman, Aubrey (Smith) Thaman, Gabe Thaman, and Adam Morrison. We weren't a band of singers, but we were a band of fun. I do so enjoy our times. We all took part in the grandiose wedding extravaganza of Gabe and Aubrey. I, the best man, and Angie, the wedding coordinator. Obviously Gabe and Aubrey were the groom and bride. I also sang at the wedding with Alexis, Aubrey's sister.  

If I were to take a step back and say, "Well, who are the individuals who have been besties with the mesties?" I'd probably have to think about it. [30 minutes of thinking]

One of my favorite peoples in the world, would have to be:

Geoff Olmstead and I were quite good friends. I don't know if it's because of both of our desire to avoid confrontation or if it's just because we're that good-natured, but we survived all the way to Mexico and back. Geoff got me excited about football (soccer) and advertising... Then, he got married and moved back to Colorado to work at his father's church. 

One of the best friends I've had through fights, is:

Not Adam Morrison and Cow. It's Mark Egli. Yes, we've had big fights. Not just one, but many. AND we've survived. At first, we were afraid. We were petrified. But after the big knock-out blow fight that ended the first set of four, we waited years before being friends again. Then, it was like a millionaires! Now, we hang out pretty regularly. We have reached an agreement that we're both better than each other. That way, we're both always right. It works. Don't ask how.

However, one of the friends who I grew up wanting to be like and then ended up being a great, supportive friend is:

Zachary Stephen Morrison is a pretty good fellow. Look at us, being studs in our childhood. Then, I grew up to sweat a lot. Zach was a pretty great friend when I was hating who I was in high school. He was a fun coworker and roommate. He was also jealous of my styles, but I didn't know that until he was married. I just thought he was a jerk, when we were in jr high. God bless the child. 

So there you go. I like people. They like me. People are good. I also want "So I Met Your Mother" to be over already, so we can know who the freaking mother is.