Day 34: A lesson you still haven't learned.

I know you might not believe it, but I have not learned that I should always try to pass stool before I leave the home. It's always a surprise to me when that "guh!" feeling lowers in my tummy.

At least I make it to the toilet more than not! At least...

Thanks to Mark James for suggesting today's topic! What's tomorrow's gonna be?

Day 32: If it was possible for you to switch from human to animal form at will, which animal would you choose?

You've often known my desire to morph into an animal at will. Some people wish they could morph into a crab, so they can pinch their enemies to death. Some people wish to be able to morph into a llama, so they can eat the ham. I, on the other hand, have higher thoughts.

I quickly thought about how much I'd love to be a monkey and eat bananas as long as I still wasn't allergic to them. Then, I could do things like climb trees and throw poop at people who walk by. But then, I thought, "Man, oh man! I'd love to be a tiger. Raw power. Stripes! Who knew!?" I could hunt like a wild man.

However, after all that thinking, I ate some burnt Fruity Dyno-Bites and wanted to throw up. Then, I realized, "If I was any of those two creatures, I'd be hunted down, trapped, or put in a zoo." And that's why I did not choose them.

I love having dreams about flying, and I thought, "I should be an animal that flies!" There are a few mammals that try to fly, but I had to end up deciding on a bird. Now, you might think, "I bet he'll choose the Bald Eagle cuz he's the American, bird...or maybe a hawk, since he is Adam the Hawk." If you think that, you're wrong. I chose:

Philippine Eagle

The Philippine Eagle is one of the most rare raptors in creation. It's also large and in charge and has a wicked awesome hair cut when it's all up in your business. And might I add, check out this wingspan:

It's from a far away place, so it doesn't look that big. I'll try it again.

No you know.

When someone would try to come up and catch me or put me in a trap or even throw me in the zoo, I'd fly away. I'd also sit on top of trees and look down at people like they don't even know.

I also had a dream that I got the job at Par-A-Dice, so let's keep praying my interview at 5pm goes spectacular. I've had a lot of dreams about upcoming events...It's freaking people out. Some people die a little.

What should I blog tomorrow?

Day 29: 3 wishes

What does "3" wish? I wish 3 would hurry up and wish, already. Yes, I did think that was funny. I laughed for a bit. Not too much, though. It's simply that this day doesn't really say anything such as, "If you could have three wishes, what would they be?" No, just 3 WISHES!!!

If I could have three wishes from a genie in a bottle, I'd probably be called a witch and be burned at the stake. What really happened in life was: I loved Genie in a Bottle, and I was called a queen. Not quite the same thing.

3 Wishes:

1. I wish I could fly (without help from a machine or another other substance). I love having dreams where I am flying around town or the supermarket. My short friends could turn to me for help when they need something off the top shelf at IKEA. I would need to invest in googles and helmets and such, so I don't get bug-ridden from travel. 
2. I wish I could go back and live life over with the knowledge and wisdom I now have. Wouldn't that be great? I'd probably still make stupid mistakes, but I'd be a whole lot better at understanding people around me. True, I am who I am today because of the choices I made, but this is my blog and my wish. I can wish what I want, jerk.
3. I wish I could communicate with God just like how I communicate with people on this earth. It would be great to be able to see God's facial expressions, hear his intonation, and clearly hear what he is saying to me. Would that falter my faith? I don't think so, but who am I to judge?

If I could ask for more wishes, I'd probably also wish that my bowels would not be so irritable and uncontrollable. I'd wish that I was able to flee from temptation without pause. I'd wish that I could sing like a male version of Christina Aguilera. 

If you ever come across a genie who has been stuck in a bottle for centuries, I think he might slap you first. Then he'd probably realize what he had done and ask for forgiveness. He, or SHE...oooo...think about it...

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

This stresses me out.

Day 19: Something you miss

Who knew the first person who isn't family that I'd miss would be Angie? In fact, she was the first person I called. And y'all know, I don't like calling people. We've been friends for so long, it's hard to do life without that sorta folk.

Of course, I miss others like Jim Wood, Hannah Burtness, Gabe and Aubrey, Jonathan Rasch, Tyler Alblinger, Jenna Hoerr, Adam and Alecia, and many more. If I didn't list you, it's cuz I'm trying to blog in a rush because I'm pooping at Lamar and Tanya's new home!

Day 13: Goals

I have a few goals I'd like to share with you tonight. There are a couple of categories that said goals shall fall into. Let's take a look. A book look.

Life Goals

1. I strive to be a man on integrity. I want to keep my word and exhibit honor and respect in my life.
2. I want to put people first. I never want to put a task or an object before my friends and family.
3. I want to have a son, named Charles Nelson Morrison, who makes odd noises and twiddles his glasses betwixt his thumb and forefinger. 

Week (Weak) Goals

1. I want to follow through on a commitment I have made to myself. You may hear of it in later blogs. At this point, it's a personal goal that is only for personnel. 
2. I am going to make it to work early every day this week and be entertaining to my guests and coworkers. 
3. I am going to poop at least once a day. 

Well, it looks like Angie Kauffman won't be getting an award for appearing in my blog the most, but she will be getting a good ol' hand slap we call "high five" when I see her next. That reminds me...

Angie Goals

1. Give Angie a high five.

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Greetings!


I would like to introduce you to one of the most significant people in my life...me. I couldn't live without me. You might be thinking, "Why am I reading this?" I am not questioning you.

You may have noticed that this photograph is not necessarily the MOST recent, but it does show my teeth. If there's one thing I've said, it's, "Look at my teeth." 

I do have at least "15 interesting facts" that I care to share with you. Mind you, I am not thinking clearly.

1. I have pooped my pants as an adult. I would say that I have done it more times than I care to share, but I think it's freaking hilarious about 15 minutes after each incident. The first time, I was in the Czech Republic. I was talking with a lady friend up by the bonfire at the English Camp I was helping at. All of a sudden, the amount of citric acid in the Fanta caught up with me. I said, "Gooh!" and then stood up, walked briskly to the edge of the forest, and then ran down to the lodge. We had to take our shoes off, so we wouldn't scuff up the wood floor. That was tricky, but I was able to slip on the little booties, and I scooted across the lodge hall. I made it to the bathroom, shut the first door, and made it to the water closet. That was as far as I got. The worst news was that I was in the women's bathroom. 
2. I have been to the Czech Republic. See above.
3. I am 25% Italian. That's right. My grandmother is full-blooded Italian. Her parents came across the Atlantic Ocean and met in Clinton, IN. That's why I look Italian.
4. I was born in Paris. I love being able to say that. It's quite the icebreaker. All the ladies be like, "Ooo! You so sexy!" and then I inform them that it was Paris, IL. That's not as appealing. 
5. I love singing. One of the first memories I've been told I have, besides pooping in the tub with my two older full-brothers behind me, is singing at the top of my lungs as I sat on the toilet at my babysitter's house. I was two or three years old.
6. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology. I know how to tell if someone is racist...better than commoners. 
7. I worked for a not-for-profit organization for 7 years. I did not make a profit. Other people there did. Discuss.
8. I have been employed at a casino for two weeks. I am still not making a profit. Other people there...are doing MUCH worse than me. 
9. I can't hold my alcohol. 
10. I am the youngest child in my family. I have one brother (Chris) from my dad's first marriage and two full brothers (Sean and Zach). 
11. My parents are still married. That's apparently rare in this world. Obviously, it's not true for my brother, Chris, so I got that on him. Yes, it's a contest.
12. My last girlfriend and I ended our relationship after we both came out to each other. She is now engaged to another woman, and I ended up realizing I wasn't gay after about two or three years. That was an interesting time... I'm not embarrassed by it. Haha! It is quite the story now. 
13. My first kiss happened when my girlfriend had mono. It is the same girlfriend from above; however, it was in 8th grade, not 11th. 
14. Some people think I'm humorous. Not all. To others, I'm quite offensive and rude. That usually comes from a lack of understanding of sarcasm. 
15. I am an ENFJ. Yes, I took the official Myers-Briggs when my previous employer was trying to figure out if I was crazy. I'm a people person. I have people skills, like Johnny Depp.